We haven’t dated in, like, two years, so it’s getting more than a little creepy to continue to get flirty texts from you every month or so. And the surprise gifts on Valentine’s Day and my birthday sent to my office … Yeah, that’s not cute — that’s creepy. I said my…
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While making my way over a crosswalk at Minnesota and Newport avenues, the flashing lights alerted drivers who fly down that street to slow down or stop (optional! it’s a yellow light!), and wait for pedestrians. I was walking as quickly as I reasonably could with a full coffee in one hand…
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I am a long-term customer of the infamous green-logoed coffee store. On many occasions, I have been appalled by you, the supposed manager of a West Valley location. You are like the Cheshire cat, being friendly to the customers, but then you turn around and berate and belittle your staff like I…
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Two kids are a helluva lot to deal with, especially at 2 and 4 years old. You’re looking at two snot-nosed, chocolate-stained balls of energy who have the mobility of a cockroach and the stamina of an Iditarod husky. They may be cute, but they’re impossible to contain—and it ain’t my job…
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You asked me for a jump, so I obliged. You said you were worried about not getting your client to where he needed to be and how your boss wouldn’t be so understanding. My car was now eye to eye with yours, like a pre-fight faceoff. Engines off. Red to positive. Black…
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You were drunk. It was last call, and you incoherently mumbled a drink order to the bartender. She responded with a firm, “Go home!” to which you responded, “Well … maybe … you … home…” The bouncer dropped you right outside of the bar onto the street corner. You pulled out your…
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It was 5pm on the light rail and I was tired. I had my headphones in, letting my mind drift to John Mayer’s sweet voice, but before I could lose myself completely, I noticed a strange presence. You walked in, dressed head to toe in a blotched and smudged Elvis Presley costume.…
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You and your weak cohorts rolled up at the corner of San Carlos and Third streets and chose to unload pellet gun shots at me and my friends before “speeding” off. Were you my ex-girlfriend, and now after our breakup you’re some wildin’ gangsta? Baby, I’m sorry I kept the George Foreman…
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It was in a line at La Victoria’s for a late night burrito where I saw you. I was surrounded by scantily clad college girls and cologne-doused dudes, all partaking in loud, drunken cacophony. Waiting with these people was a hellish experience and I considered leaving, but then I saw you. A…
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The other day I exited the light rail (going south) at Tamien. I noticed a young man who pushed the door so it would not close. I thought some not very kind thoughts about him. Then I turned around and saw people running up the stairs from the Caltrain. And the doors…
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