Hello, Metro. I see you on a weekly basis, never miss a week, never a beat. I don’t always agree with you but you always have interesting things to say. You tell me about movies coming out, great places to party on the weekend, which bands are coming to my city, which…
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I saw you approach that woman waiting for the train. She was tall, slender and stunningly beautiful. Her body language seemed that of a resting lioness, fierce and striking. Your body language, however, was that of a newly birthed fawn. Shaking and quivering, you walked over to her wearing wrinkled plaid, fading…
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Dear Neighbor: The sun was rising after a long night. I was watching over my girls at the Motel 6 downtown. As you pulled into the parking lot I recognized your custom license plate. You hopped out of the car and took a few looks around, but you didn’t see me behind…
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I’ve seen you … and others like you … driving like you couldn’t care less about the rules of the road or basic common courtesy. You’re the cowboy I saw in the black BMW cutting diagonally across all three lanes as you entered 280 south just to get to the far left…
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Hey Doofus, we all saw you standing in front of everyone’s view of the stage at the Luke Combs concert at the Civic, daring anyone that had the audacity to ask you and “miss sweet thang” to sit down and enjoy the show like everyone else. The floor was open, dress circle…
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I saw you as the rain came down harder and smeared our March for Our Lives posters and turned their paint and markers into watercolor signs of protest and truth. I saw you shield your daughter by digging out her hood from her jacket and pulled it onto her head. You didn’t…
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You decided to ask for directions at the mall’s massage store where all three employees were busy with massages (including mine). Using an auditorium-worthy voice, you asked how to find the Hallmark store. No one responded, so you loudly asked whether anyone spoke English. Another customer mumbled a reply from a chair…
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Sure, I get it, private property rights are real. But people take videos at Google’s campus all the time. Is it really that big of a deal to take some footage in front of a visitor’s office? Snapping photos of my car license plate and state ID was so extra. Apparently some…
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Sorry for my language, but oh hellz naw, Cafe Cacophony! Who the fuck do you think you are? I’ve been there and done that. Most coffee customers are simple and very appreciative, but of course there is gonna be someone like you who is having a bad day with a side of…
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To that “hilarious” comedy show host at Cafe Stritch, I have an idea for you: Instead of calling out our table for not applauding your bland opening monologue, try honing your craft. Get some material. Whatever you do, don’t quit your day job. I Saw You is an anonymous “man on the…
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