You, a 20-something tech bro, were pitching a startup idea to the girl who was sitting across from you at a cafe. After clearing your throat, you asked, “Have you ever run out of toilet paper with no one around to help? Well, Wipr connects valued customers with locally sourced TP using a distributed, crowd-sourced platform!” I’m sure you were expecting her intrigue, maybe even arousal. With an expression of disbelief, she responded, “Wait, can’t I just buy toilet paper ahead of time?” Taken aback, you re-composed yourself and replied, “Great question! We’ve found that most customers prefer the single roll delivery method, because of the personalized experience of receiving the roll from our qualified team members!” Without hesitation she retorted, “That’s the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Who wants to talk to someone while they’re taking a shit!? This is a joke, right?” Silence followed, and at this point the whole cafe was tuning in. You took a deep breath: “Our mobile app is in beta … I sold my house for this.” The look on her face was priceless. You probably could’ve used some TP to clean up that mess.
I Saw You is an anonymous “man on the street” column. Email your rants and raves about co-workers or any badly behaving citizens to [email protected], or send to 380 S. First St, San Jose, 95113. Submissions should stick to about 100 words.
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Bill Kopp on December 20, 2018
The West Coast blues tradition is built upon the styles and achievements of blues greats and is heavily seasoned with a liberal dose of good, old-fashioned rock & roll. Palo Alto-born guitarist Angelo J. Rossi—known to fans as AJ Crawdaddy—is a product of that tradition and has been a fixture of the local blues scene for decades.
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Nick Veronin on December 19, 2018
Ali Shaheed Muhammad and Adrian Younge grew up on opposite sides of the country. Muhammad hails from Brooklyn, while Younge is from Los Angeles. But musically speaking, the two have been on a collision course their entire lives. Continue reading »
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Andre Jaquez on December 19, 2018
After all the gifts are unwrapped and the hot toddies are kicking in, sometimes you just need to get out of the house and get down. While plenty of watering holes will be closed, the Continental will have a wide open dance floor. This James Brown tribute is a bona fide holiday tradition at the Conti. Just a few years ago, Mayer Hawthorne stopped in and played a set, so there’s no way of knowing who might show up. One thing you can count on is hearing some classic cuts from the excellent seasonal staple, James Brown’s Funky Christmas. Admission is free before 10pm. Continue reading »
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Avi Salem on December 19, 2018
There’s no place like home for the holidays. Just ask Get Married, San Jose’s local pop-punk six-piece. They’re fresh off of a national tour and a festival appearance in Florida and back home in time for their second annual holiday party extravaganza at Art Boutiki. Supported by San Jose punk staples Stickup Kid, Small Crush and New Fossils, the all-ages show is a special chance to hear a sampling of the local punk scene all under one roof—and maybe even catch a few Christmas covers. Pro tip: Wear a Santa hat and you may be invited to join in on the caroling on stage. Continue reading »
The Limos will always have a spot in the hometown hall of fame, and not only because they’ve put out a number of truly great songs. The guys also throw awesome parties. The alt-electronic duo’s annual XXXMas Fckfest at The Ritz is not to be missed. This year the show is masquerading as a “Super Wholesome Family Christmas,” but frontman Eric Victorino says the show is absolutely on the naughty list. Come for the music—which includes sets from Cemetery Sun, Balancing the Lion and Savant Garde—and stay the costume contest, drink specials and prizes. And keep your ears out for new music from Victorino’s other band, Strata, in the new year. Continue reading »
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Nick Veronin on December 19, 2018
When it comes to gauging a DJ’s ability to light up a dance floor, few tastemakers in the game have a finger more firmly on the pulse than Diplo. A co-sign from the Florida-bred producer extraordinaire is more than enough to get people listening. This New Jersey beatsmith and DJ has the support not only of Diplo but a slew of other big name selectors as well, from Steve Aoki to the Chainsmokers. Thus far, 4B has dropped a two proper EPs for Mad Decent, and he keeps his SoundCloud page fresh by cranking out club remixes. Continue reading »
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Avi Salem on December 19, 2018
The story is the same, but the beat is way different. Bringing a fresh new twist to the holiday classic, Peninsula Ballet Theatre’s holiday production of The Nutcracker reinterprets the whimsical Christmas classic. Led by choreographers Alee Martinez and Isaac “Stuck” Sanders, a cast of 17 dancers take audiences on a magical journey across Candyland—melding ballet and hip-hop dance moves to the remixed sounds of Tchaikovsky’s original score. This unique production is popular. It’s sold out for two years running. Plays Friday and Saturday through Dec. 29. Continue reading »
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Aaron Carnes on December 19, 2018
The world is waking up to the genius that is Thundercat. Fans of prog-rock, funk, R&B and smooth pop have always had overlapping tastes, but few modern musicians have blurred these lines quite as well as he has. The bass virtuoso has worked with everyone from Kendrick Lamar to Kenny Loggins—who, along with fellow yacht-rocker Michael McDonald contributed to the track “Show You the Way” on Thundercat’s excellent 2017 record, Drunk. It could have been pure cheese, but instead it was one of the best tracks on an overall brilliant album. Continue reading »
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Nick Veronin on December 19, 2018
So… it turns out that Dec. 21 is Ugly Sweater Day. And here we were thinking it was just the Winter Solstice. There are multiple parties in the South Bay aimed at providing a reason to wear that monstrosity grandma made. Stilettos Wine Bar in Saratoga is hosting its soiree starting at 6pm this Friday. California’s Great America is offering discounted tickets to those sporting garish holiday garments. And Thirsty Bar in Santa Clara is pairing their Ugly Sweater celebration with a Toys for Tots drive. Woodhams Lounge in San Jose is hosting their party on Dec. 22 instead. Continue reading »
