We go way back. I was a bridesmaid at your wedding. I hosted your divorce party. We’ve told each other our deepest, darkest secrets. But when you introduced me to the new guy you’re seeing … that was the first time I stopped myself short of candor. I slept with that guy!…
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I saw (and heard you) talking cheerfully and loudly over the jazz band last night. You were having a great time with your friends, loudly talking, laughing, clapping at inappropriate times, like in the middle of a solo, and not paying attention to anything else around you, including an announcement from the…
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I saw you, pedaling through the neighborhood—my neighborhood—in your light blue denim jacket, the basket of your bicycle filled with various colors of Rust-Oleum. You circled back to spray the side of a light pole, which I found strange, but as I continued my walk to the office it all came into…
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I sat in my favorite coffee shop, avoiding the project on my laptop screen. That’s when I noticed the usually cheerful demeanor of the baristas evaporate, only to be replaced with fear and dread. “Oh God, he’s here,” I heard one of them mutter. I followed their collective gaze to the door…
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I get it. Restocking the lower shelves on your knees is not your dream job. So I waited quietly and patiently three feet away while you arranged products, until you could move the aisle-blocking, diagonally-parked cart at the upscale grocery store. But you went passive-aggressive, grabbing another armload of goods and ignoring…
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For more than a year now I’ve let you live rent-free in my home. You brought your crazy cat, a basement full of boxes and your alcoholic drama under my roof—and I was OK with that, up to a point. I really, really tried to tough things out because I hoped that…
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I saw you. That is, I saw the grainy cell phone camera video of you and your heroic deed. Every year, you and your pals are the butt of many mean jokes and derisive comments. I suppose it’s because you like to attach colorful, fluffy tails to the backside of your jeans…
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In our neighborhood, where it’s not uncommon for three generations to shack up in one of the ‘70s-era duplexes that line the street, parking is at a premium. Every adult in each house has a car, which means about four vehicles per unit. Inevitably, those cars fill up the curbsides. But hey,…
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It was New Year’s Eve when our text-versations finally took a turn for the flirtatious. I was thrilled, and we made plans for a date when you finally returned from your family trip to the East Coast. We talked about going out for dinner and “finishing what we started” the last time…
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I understand that you love one another, but I see the both of you kissing each other like y’all are about to have sex. It has been going on for quite a while and I am tired of seeing it. The both of you catch the same train as I do, and…
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