“People think the Earth is flat again,” Chris Porter begins one bit, before quickly losing his patience. “Have you ever seen a lunar eclipse? Has it ever just been a line across the moon?” This weekend, the Kansas-born comedian, best known as a finalist on season 4 of NBC’s Last Comic Standing, comes to the Improv for five shows. Since his stint on NBC, he’s appeared on Comedy Central Presents and released two specials on Amazon—Ugly and Angry and Man From Kansas—and has toured the country’s comedy club circuit. Now’s the chance to see what Porter’s been cooking up during the pandemic.

Chris Porter
Fri-Sun, Various Times, $20
The Improv, San Jose

There is a certain revelatory beauty in every open mic, in watching a rookie attempt their first public performance or a musician introducing you to their newest jam. In our area code, there is also a wealth of talent.

The 2010s were a golden era for open mics in the South Bay. Every week, one could attend several in downtown San Jose, along with a dozen more throughout the Valley. If things go according to plan, there will be even more of them this spring.

These days, Nirvana Soul Cafe aims to be the open mic lighthouse in downtown San Jose’s SoFA District. Starting this month, they offer a weekly line-up of open mic nights that will feel familiar to the former Caffe Frascati crowd. Beginning Jan. 12, local humorist Eli Schwartz will host the cafe’s comedy and poetry open mic nights (held on Wednesday and Thursday, respectively), while singer-songwriter Joy Hackett will host a music-based open mic on Fridays, with a showcase held each first Friday of the month.

Surely, at most open mics, you will hear something that you never want to hear again, but good hosts like Eli and Joy know how to move the show along. Comedian Ato Walker, meanwhile, is the kind of host who can also be the show.

Beginning in 2009, for four years Walker hosted his downtown weekly comedy open mic at Britannia Arms. He followed that with a weekly show at the Caravan Lounge in 2015, which he organized with comedian Rachel Warner (also Best Bartender, Metro’s Best of Silicon Valley 2021) and held right up to the shutdown.

There are few people in this scene more supremely comfortable on stage than Ato Walker. So it was a boon for the South Bay when David Williams, general manager of the San José Improv, connected with Mr. Walker to develop the first official comedy open mic to be held inside the historic theater. Being the boss of the largest comedy venue in a forty-mile radius, Williams eagerly explored the Bay Area comedy landscape, attending nearly every open mic from Sacramento to Santa Cruz. 

Ultimately, he felt the potential to grow comedy was strongest around San Jose. His dream was to finally bring an open mic to the 20-year-old Improv, and he knew that Walker was his emcee.

“I needed someone who truly represents the South Bay and Ato epitomizes that in every way,” Williams says.

On Dec. 8, the Open Mic at the San Jose Improv launched to a crowd of over 120 people. Williams and Walker hoped for 20-plus comics to sign up for a shot at a four-minute set on the historic stage, but their expectations were blown away when 65 comedians showed up from all over the Bay. The 18 comics who made the list were, in Walker’s words, “so good that they confirmed why it is so important to have an open mic at the Improv.”

The Improv’s next open mic will be held Jan. 12, but Williams says that if it gets any bigger, they may need to expand to twice a month.

Comedian Pete Munoz has been hosting the comedy open mic at Woodhams Lounge in Santa Clara every Monday for almost nine years. “We started on 408 [April 8th] in 2013,” Munoz says.

A San Jose comedy veteran, Munoz’s reputation as a quick-witted, no-holds-barred host has helped boost Woodhams as one of the most sought out and notorious comedy open mics in the Bay Area. Folks can sign up in person—show at 8pm.

Since May of 2021, Comedian Matthew McCarron has hosted an open mic at Off The Hook sports bar in Campbell. Like many hosts, McCarron was initially very concerned about the spread of infection, but performers have been good about masking, and none of the hosts interviewed for this piece were aware of anyone contracting the virus through open mics.

McCarron rotates hosting duties with other comics, like Mel Michelle, who hosts her own comedy open mic at Britannia Arms in Cupertino on Thursdays. Michelle has noticed that on the nights she hosts, there are more women comedians on the list—a trend she welcomes. Both shows begin at 8pm and folks can sign up in person.

Even with so many events mentioned, it is a pleasure to add the Caravan Lounge Comedy Show back to this list. Rachel Warner has confirmed that comedy will return to Wednesdays beginning Feb. 2 with a slate of rotating hosts—including Ato Walker.

If nothing else, there will be plenty of open mics to keep us all boosted this year.

Pablo Francisco has achieved notoriety by hitting people with a whirlwind of comedy. After years of cutting his teeth on MadTV and Comedy Central specials, the man is a finely tuned engine of comedy who respects an audience’s time and knows people want to laugh beginning at minute one of a performance. Within that first minute he’s done an impersonation of a valley girl, a saxophone, Judge Judy and Jabba the Hutt. The many-faced master of the human speech mechanism is sure to leave the attendees in a comedic fervor with his rapid-fire delivery at his Sunday performance at the Improv.

Pablo Francisco
Sun, 7pm, $25+
The Improv, San Jose

This Thursday, the self-proclaimed “most famous half-Persian comedian in the world” Kevan K-Von Moezzi comes to the Improv for a single set. The comic from Reno, NV, found fame after taking a job on MTV’s Disaster Date—where unwitting contestants earned $1 for every minute spent on a horrible date—and has since appeared on Last Comic Standing, Dry Bar Comedy and more. His TedTalk on Persian New Year has also become a fan favorite, as have his podcast (The Right Show) and YouTube channel, where he skewers everything from workout plans to ’90s music.

K-Von
Thu, 8pm, $20+
The Improv, San Jose

There aren’t many comedians out there who compare to the straightforward yet sharply comedic style of Jon Stewart’s years on the Daily Show, but Bassem Youssef is a rare jewel by himself. The comedian and host of El-Bernameg—a satirical news show focusing on Egyptian politics—will be at the San Jose Improv this weekend for a four-show, two-night run. If his stand-up is anything like his life thus far, it will be full of suspense, humor and heartache, with stories from his time in Egypt, being pursued by the government for his comedy, and the experience of Arabs in America.

Bassem Youssef
Fri-Sat, Various Times, $25+
San Jose Improv, San Jose

Los Angeles comedian Jimmy Shin’s momentous and riveting comedy party “The Shindig Show,” is coming Wednesday to the San Jose Improv—with hella comics showing out. Shin brings with him six other comedians, including some West Coast representation, to roll with the punches throughout the night. Shin has been featured on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, the HBO Series Luck, Carson Daly’s 2015 New Year’s Special and most recently his one hour comedy special Wok of Shame. At the Improv he brings his patented high energy, gravelly voice, Asian jokes and healthy mix of both pride and shame.

Jimmy Shin
Wed, 8pm, $20+
San Jose Improv, San Jose

Not many comedians get nearly a decade of screen time on Saturday Night Live and still remain consistent in the years thereafter—but Kevin Nealon isn’t most comedians. This weekend, the understated master known for his SNL tenure from 1986 to 1995—as well as starring roles on Weeds, Man with a Plan and many guest appearances across TV and film—will take the stage in San Jose for four shows. Nealon has been making audiences cackle with glee since he first took the stage at the LA Improv back in 1978; now, nearly 43 years later, he has the chance to continue that terrific trend in the South Bay.

Kevin Nealon
Fri-Sat, Various Times, $25+
The Improv, San Jose

By now, we should all be fully appreciative of nurses. Greg “G” Williams, a nurse originally based out of the Bay Area via Atlanta, has carved a comedy career out of his humorous observations about the mighty profession. While he’s plenty of fun for the layman, Williams has built a fanbase among his peer nurses, ruthlessly splitting sides at several nursing organizations’ events, and gaining a reputation as an ice breaker and stress reliever.  It’s all the fun of Nurse Tik Tok, sans the potential HIPAA violations.

Nurse’s Night Out
Wed, 8pm, $20
The Improv, San Jose

When the pandemic hit, the Bay Area’s KO Comedy responded swiftly by launching a kinetic and fun weekly show over Zoom. There, over the last year and a half, countless comedians from the Bay and beyond have dropped full sets from their own homes. Now able to take the show on stage again, KO brings four hilarious acts to the Improv in Kabir Singh, Marcella Arguello, Rene Vaca, and KO founder Sammy Obeid. “I’m Sammy, I’m a mix,” the Lebanese-American Obeid says in his appearance on Conan. “Yeah, my dad is a man, and my mom is a woman, so I’m half-man, half-woman.”

KO Comedy
Wed, 8pm, $20
The Improv, San Jose

It’s hard to find humor in the sadness of the past year. Yet, for at least one long-revered comedian, an entire career has led to greater understanding and hope for what the future of funny holds.

This coming Sunday, comedian Maria Bamford brings her 30+ years of personal, dysfunctional and melancholic comedic charms to the San Jose Improv for one night and one show only. The show—just one stop of Bamford’s 16-city tour—will bring the comedian’s sensibilities back to a semi-post COVID-19 audience—something she has missed throughout shelter-in-place.

“I love performing live—it’s just so delightful to hear live laughter again,” she says via phone from her recent four-show stop in Albany, New York. “I didn’t realize how much I adored that.”

Known primarily for her voiceover work on shows including Big Mouth, Bob’s Burgers and Adventure Time, Bamford never stopped performing during the pandemic. Like many other comedians, she pivoted to virtual shows, something she has both enjoyed and has helped to perfect her act.

“One way I practice my material is one-on-one, and to do it over Zoom is so convenient for me,” she says. “I tweet out and ask if anyone has time at [certain times], and then I can do my show for [that person]…and they get a tee-shirt sent to them! Now that restrictions are ripe, I can do it in person—I’m actually going to meet someone today.”

During the pandemic, Bamford took on a whole new cadre of work, continuing to prove her status as one of the hardest-working and most determined comedians in Hollywood. Currently, she is writing a book, lending her voice to animated sitcoms HouseBroken and Summer Camp Island, and is the star of the new animated show Teenage Euthansia.

The latter—created by Alyson Levy and Alissa Nutting, which premiered on Sept. 6 on Adult Swim—focuses on Bamford’s Trophy Fantasy, a teenage mother who left her baby Euthanasia “Annie” Fantasy with her mother and brother.

“It was just superb—it’s very dark, features a zombie suicide, and that can be intense,” she says. “But it’s very funny, I hope people can check it out.”

Coming back to in-person shows, Bamford is still getting used to the COVID-19 rules and regulations from city to city. She feels primarily for the servers at each club she performs at, as they already have way too much to do and the regulations for attending a show—vaxxed or proof of a negative COVID-19 test, masked or unmasked—can change day-to-day.

“I could ask for a vax card, but I’m too afraid—I’m a coward,” she laughed. “There’s no joke here—it’s not the most hilarious topic, and I’m the most protected Fabergé egg.”

While in Albany, Bamford performed both for upwards of 400 people per night and also balanced a performance for six people in a private home’s garage. Regardless of size, she called each experience “breathtaking.”

“I hope that I can remember that but I’m a human being, I get used to bliss pretty easily and then ask, ‘what’s more blissful? But here’s hoping!’”

If nothing else, 2020 acted as a reminder of the importance of both honesty and generosity.

“There’s only so much time on Earth—do the thing that you said you always wanted to do,” she says. “Be more pleasant, be more generous—this is the time to do that.”

Maria Bamford
Sun, 7pm, $30
The Improv, San Jose