“It’s not wholesome!” a middle-aged mom shouted as she shut the trunk of her SUV. Was she talking about the stoners at HempCon or the costumed masses at FurCon? I didn’t get a chance to ask, as she hopped in the driver seat and sped off the scene of San Jose’s annual set-up for a joke.

Or maybe it’s more of an anti-joke.

Q: What happens when bunch of animal-suited fanatics, stoners and high-school volleyball girls walk into the McEnery Convention Center?

A: Everyone’s super chill about it and gets along pretty well.

At the time, Concerned Mom was loading whatever parents concerned with wholesomeness load into their trunks, I’d been asking a couple other volleyball parents what they thought of having a medical marijuana trade show and furry festival so close to their impressionable youth.

“Is that what they’re doing in there?” one asked, referring to the South Hall currently being hotboxed by HempCon. “They’re keeping it separate. We’re used to the cat convention [FurCon] by now. The girls think it’s funny.”

PHOTOS: FurCon photo gallery

The odd confluence has been going on for a couple years now. Bruce Newman wrote about it for the Mercury News in 2012, when the concerned parent contingent seemed to be significantly larger.

Key quotes from the article: “It’s just a bunch of degenerates who use medical marijuana as an excuse to do whatever they want to do,” says one parent. The same parent, regarding furries: “’Some of the other parents told me they had checked into it and found things that made it out to be basically a porn fetish convention.” He then “conceded his knowledge of furries is based on an episode of television’s ‘CSI.’”

So either the volleyball folks have gotten used to it, or “Freaky Stuff Scaring Middle Class White Folks” makes for a more exciting article than “Everyone Is Doing All Right.” Conflict makes for an easy hook. Emotions are high! People are fighting! Look! Look! So as a reporter, one might dig around a bit to find it. I asked each contingent what they thought of the others, and responses for the most part ranged from ignorance to unconcern.

The stoners, holed up in their big blue tent, hardly knew what was going on in the outside world. HempCon offered more than enough to occupy the average toker. The line for medical marijuana evaluations made a lengthy snake throughout the hall all day. In exchange for $60 and a chat with a doctor, one could enter the back half of the hall where South Bay dispensaries were selling weed and handing out free samples of all sorts of edibles: “Taste the food, not the medicine!”

PHOTOS: HemCon photo gallery

Most of HempCon’s rhetoric still focuses around the useful fiction that everyone is here for the medicinal value of weed. While some definitely are, talking about weed as medicine sounds a lot better than saying that sometimes one just wants to get blazed and eat a family-sized bag of Doritos sans other family members.

Other highlights of HempCon that this reporter witnessed included a six-foot bamboo bong (“King Bong”) poached from a century-old bamboo patch by the Rose Bowl, an “herbonomically correct” weed trimming station complete with iPhone holder and “kief cling texture” and a booth holding a wide variety of polished rocks and crystals.

“Do stoners like crystals?” I asked.

“Oh yeah, they’re shiny, but they don’t emit their own light so it doesn’t hurt their eyes.” Makes sense.

As far as the furries go, they’re much less weird than they might first appear. Anyone who’s ever been to a sci-fi or comic book festival knows exactly the type: maybe a little more skittish than most, but friendly enough and passionate about very specific things. In this case, dressing up in full body fursuits and pretending to be various creatures.

According to Shawna Snopeck, a con-goer wearing a fuzzy white eared hat, the attractions of the furry fandom lies in it being “a way to express yourself other than who you are.” She traveled from New Jersey to go to the event with her “mate,” Adam Wolf.

When asked about the volleyball girls and the stoners, they hadn’t heard about any conflicts or bad vibes. I told them about Concerned Mom in the parking lot, and Philip, another guy listening in, told me, “This is wholesome for me!”

Later, Philip would get in an argument with another guy about the relative anthropomorphism of the rabbits in Watership Down and whether they used doors or not.

“There’s no doors in Watership Down.”

“Yes there are. Maybe you haven’t read it in a while.”

“Well I’ve read it many times and I don’t think there are any doors.”

“Yeah there is…well they went through a gate in the garden…”

On my way out, furries Kevin and Kat told me how heartbreaking it was to leave FurCon. In a fandom found mostly online, cons are a place to meet Internet friends in real life, at least for a weekend.

In the lobby of the convention center, I chatted with a couple more volleyball people. As we watched their daughters practice while fur-suited folks walked by, one mom told me, “The more the merrier.”

Outside on the street, a guy in big purple fuzzy feet and ears was talking to a member of a dispensary street team. “So, if I live in Oregon, can I get my medical evaluation in California?”

Despite federal raids and local land-use fights plaguing marijuana dispensaries, the industry will soon go from medicinal to outright legal, says Freddy Sayegh, an activist and criminal defense attorney. California will join the ranks of Colorado and Washington, he says, and it’s only a matter of time before the federal government reclassifies the drug from a Schedule I controlled substance, deemed to have no medical benefit, to a Schedule II, which recognizes clinical properties and allows researchers to legally study the plant.

“That’s a future we should all prepare for,” says Sayegh, the keynote speaker at HempCon in San Jose this week. “Things will change drastically. This will move from a non-profit to a for-profit market, a competitive market opened up to recreational uses. I believe 2014 is the year to talk about what future distribution models will look like and look back at what we can learn from other states that have legalized it already.”

Sayegh will join a host of other speakers and about 10,000 attendees at the fifth annual HempCon, which kicks off a four-city tour Friday at the San Jose McEnery Convention Center.

The convention runs through Sunday, and it is both festival and educational event, showcasing the latest in smoking accessories and hydroponics.

On the educational side, there are workshops and lectures on topics ranging from starting a delivery business to making THC-based lotions and elixirs. On Friday, cannabis consultant Ralf Rainer will talk about patient dispensary management, Cannabis Career Institute’s Robert Calkin will discuss legal compliance in California and hemp historian Gary Maciel will explore the weird past of the psychoactive plant. Weekend workshops include Sayegh’s keynote speech and more lectures from the Cannabis Career Institute on advanced cultivation, dispensary management, growing opportunities and investing in the marijuana industry.

Sayegh encourages attendees to learn about the laws surrounding THC wax, the super-concentrated butane hash oil, which is legal to possess with a cannabis card but illegal to manufacture.

“There have been a lot of new cases and arrests from people trying to make wax out of butane,” he says. “There’s so much vagueness in the law around concentrates in terms of what’s lawful to possess. But I’m fighting some big cases where people are facing up to six years in state prison for manufacturing butane-based concentrated cannabis. A lot of people don’t know the risk.”

Among the 90-plus vendors registered for the event, physicians from San Jose 420 Evaluations will conduct cannabis consultations on site. Attendees can find options for local treatment, learn about new ways to ingest the plant and ask for legal advice from several attorneys on hand.

Of course, HempCon is as much a haven for medicinal users as it is a celebration of marijuana culture, with clothing, souvenirs, scantily clad booth babes and live performances. Entertainment will range from a standup comedy lineup and THC oil cooking demo to a variety show and musical acts starring Addey Lance and Sour Diesel.

If you are the kind of person that celebrates 4/20, and you’re looking for something better to do than get high in your sister’s inexplicably dusty apartment with her weird boyfriend and their horse-size dog that keeps eating your munchies (or was this just me?), then you’ll want to check out Hempcon 2013, “America’s Largest Medical Marijuana Show.”

Coming to the San Jose Convention Center’s South Hall this weekend, the convention promises to be an “educational event as well a full weekend of seminars and presentations by industry leaders, advocates, and attorneys.” The three-day lineup features seminars such as “How to Start a Delivery Business,” “Small Space Cultivation” and “How to Be in Compliance in California.” This last item will probably be especially important for dispensaries and patients until California follows Washington’s and Colorado’s leads in legalizing marijuana, which may be sooner rather than later given that a Pew Research Center poll has for the first time found national majority support for legalization.

The keynote speech will be given by Freddy Sayegh, “celebrity criminal defense attorney” of the Foxx Firm. According to the Hempcon website, the firm covers the A through W of criminal defense, everything from Arson to Wire Fraud. This wide area of expertise of course includes the common legal defense needs of medical dispensaries and patients.
In addition to the various seminars and speeches, Hempcon will host performances by Wu-Tang Clan member Cappadonna and the Los Angeles–based dubstep DJ and producer 12th Planet. Virtuoso Jordanian percussionist Hani Naser will also make an appearance.

Fortunately, this year’s edition of Hempcon will not coexist at the convention center with any teenage girl volleyball tournaments, as it did last year. The San Jose Mercury News published an article last summer about the odd coincidence, quoting a couple of parents concerned about “degenerates” peddling “grass” and “dope” to their daughters. However, this year the Leigh High School prom looks to be scheduled at the San Jose Civic Auditorium across the street on the Saturday of the conference. No word yet on whether concerned parents are in need of interviewing.

Hempcon
Friday, 3–9pm, Saturday, 11am–9pm, Sunday, 11am–7pm; $20
San Jose 
Convention Center

The aroma was noticeable about two blocks before walking through the doors of the San Jose Convention Center, where HempCon was held this past weekend.

Attendees were presented the immediate option of a medical marijuana card evaluation for the price of $60. For folks willing to wait in line—sometimes more than 100 people long—and pay the fee, there was the unavoidable yet strangely endearing presence of Henry Hemp.

No, Henry Hemp is not a new strain or nickname for a piece of paraphernalia. Henry Hemp has become an icon at medical marijuana expos due to the large marijuana plant-shaped foam hat he wears that says “HEMP” on the back. The spray-painted leafy details of his hat stand out even against the vibrant green of the foam.

“There are countries that want to cut my head off; there are people that support what I do,” said Hemp, whose real name is Magic Ellingson. “I’m just trying to spread peace, love and harmony.”

Ellingson’s energy was high Saturday, and it needed to be considering he had an hour on stage, which turned into a talent show and motivational talk for those who were listening.

When asked why he thinks events like HempCon are important to attend, Ellingson said that “it brings out the truth and education, and brings people together.”

There is some truth to this claim, as HempCon’s diversity was fairly apparent in its patrons and vendors, which included everything from pipes, bongs and vaporizers to artwork and clothing brands affiliated with legalizing and/or enjoying marijuana. There were bail bonds companies as well, for those who might enjoy themselves a little too much.

Most booths outside of the area restricted to people with medical marijuana prescriptions were centered on the contributions of hemp, such as oils and clothing. There was also a booth from THCFinder, a company that works to help patients find dispensaries either online or through the app they have created.

But on the other side of the HempCon wall, a large partition that separates an area for people with a medical card, the landscape is entirely different. Vendors aggressively pushed special deals on grams and eighths, while others more leisurely offered samples of pot-infused sugar cookies.

Mixed in the mesh of models and megaphones advertising “Purple Martian Kush, bro!” was the overwhelming feeling that everything must go, and everyone must get stoned. And people did, just 50 feet from the side entrance of the Convention Center’s South Hall.

But the overall vibe was somewhere between mellow and joyful. Everywhere Henry Hemp went, people wanted a picture or autograph, or they just wanted to step outside and medicate with him.

“How many cops do you see surrounding this place?” Ellingson asked. “Oh wait, I don’t see any.” And he was right. There was security for the building but no added presence by the San Jose Police Department, or girls volleyball players for that matter, who had an event of their own in the same building.

“I’m just beside myself that we’re actually paying money to put our kids in front of all this marijuana.” HempCon 2012, baby!

Parents of young girls volleyball players are reportedly “appalled” to find out that their daughters’ tournament this weekend at the San Jose Convention Center is taking place at the same time as HempCon, according to an article in the Mercury News.

By slippery slope logic, these poor girls will walk into the Convention Center as bright-eyed promising athletes and walk out terrified, wondering if they’re going to die or just really high.

But paranoia aside, it doesn’t seem matter to these parents that entrance to Hempcon requires a person to be over the age of 18, which should make things difficult for participants in a 17-and-under volleyball tournament.

“I know there are a lot of great things about San Jose, but this weekend I feel like it’s one big Burning Man,” said Narda Skov.

In his column, which is unsurprisingly headlined “Reefer Madness,” writer Bruce Newman falls in line with the parental hysteria by calling the confluence of culture a “den of inequity.” But if having volleyball tournaments in the same convention center—yet an entirely different building—is a “bad juxtaposition,” we should probably start having kids cross the street and avert their eyes when walking past a dispensary, or just not attend college altogether.

Fortunately, not all of the volleyball parents are trying to keep their children handcuffed and blindfolded in a cave, where there lips will never touch a marijuana cigarette.

“If my daughter wanted to buy grass or dope, she could get it in downtown Berkeley, we don’t have to drive all the way down to San Jose,” Carrie Dovzak told the Merc.

But for Narda Skov and her family came to the Convention Center in January, when FurCon was in town, the indignities have become just too much to stomach.

“First we had the fuzzy people, now we have HempCon,” Skov said. “Come on, San Jose! What’s happening?”

Sounds like Skov needs to chill. If only there was a place for that.