Raging tempers, raving stupidity and a rampant virus—2021 was enough to make your head explode

Going viral used to be a good thing in Silicon Valley. As we head into the third year of spikes and shutdowns, the phrase that connoted the rapid spread of a popular item lost its cachet when its literal manifestation played out in such a clumsy and inconvenient way.

Gas, coffee and computer chip shortages—these were all part of the Great Supply Chain Disruption of 2021. On top of those woes, essential employees were in short supply. Teachers. Hospital workers. Truck drivers. It’s a situation partly COVID-related, but also driven by baby boomers hitting retirement, and a drop in immigration.

One thing that was not in short supply in 2021: Disasters, natural and otherwise.

The shitshow began on Jan. 6, when a crowd of boys who have little to be proud of assaulted Capitol Police officers with bear spray and flagpoles, entered the Capitol and terrorized elected representatives of Congress and their staffs. And January didn’t bring an end to attacks on elected officials. Members of city councils and school boards alike have heard from angry citizens who seem hell-bent on exposing themselves (and their children) to the coronavirus and its emerging variants, rejecting masks, vaccines and science in general.

Explosive anger was a top contender for emotion of the year in 2021. Toxic workplace frustration reached a zenith in the South Bay on May 26, when ten people were killed at a Valley Transportation Authority rail yard in San Jose—including the gunman, 57-year-old VTA employee Samuel James Cassidy.

In the summer, Mother Nature erupted, serving up multiple catastrophic fires, spreading haze throughout the state. The ferocity of the flames linked to climate change—also the culprit in the growing number of areas experiencing drought. Locally, the Santa Clara Valley Water District declared a water shortage emergency in June.

In between all the disasters, natural and human-made, life went on.

January

This Game ‘Stonks’

Protesters threw stinky substances at the Menlo Park headquarters of Robinhood, an online stock trading app, after it halted trading in old school video game retailer GameStop. The move came after Redditors pushed its market cap up from a little over $1 billion to more than $34 billion in less than a month. The runup, which of course involved Elon Musk and was foreshadowed by San Jose financial savant Michael Burry, required investment house Melvin Capital to undertake an emergency raise of $2.75 billion, more than the gross domestic product of 40 nations, to cover its short positions. Michael Jordan lost a half billion of his personal net worth, but he’ll make it up in overtime.

The Impeachment Queen

San Jose congressional representative Zoe Lofgren, the one member of Congress to work three presidential impeachments, got to notch four with the second impeachment of Donald Trump in 2021. As a congressional staffer to Rep. Don Edwards, she participated in the impeachment investigation of Richard Nixon, then served as a member on the House Judiciary Committee during the Bill Clinton impeachment.

February

Your Best Buys

Venerable San Jose-based retailer Fry’s Electronics shut its stores and website in a move that was not fully unexpected but still came as a surprise. For 36 years, the chain had been an icon of Silicon Valley and one of the biggest supporters of local sports teams, math institutes and arts organizations, but in the end, rising real estate values and continuing brick and mortar retail woes made it more financially interesting to make its properties available for development.

Birth of the Lost Weeknd Meme

For some folks who couldn’t care less about sportsball, Super Bowl memes have surpassed Super Bowl ads as the best thing about the big game—and 2021 produced a good one. The Weeknd’s halftime performance of “I Can’t Feel My Face”—2015’s number-one hit that may not actually be about cocaine (yeah…right) and has been memefied widely—resulted in a GIF that makes the Canadian singer appear, indeed, to be gacked on blow. Of course, it’s not as good as the ICFMF meme of the frozen-dead Jack Nicholson from The Shining.

March

Enter the NFT

For the average Joe, the evolution of caring about non-fungible tokens (NFTs) started and ended in 2021. But the hype of these collectible digital files took off in March, after artist Mike Winkelmann, better known online as Beeple, sold an NFT for $69 million—earning him the title of third-most expensive living artist. Underpinned by blockchain technology, folks in the worlds of fin-tech, crypto and Silicon Valley start-ups have been pining to be on the starting line of NFTs ever since, whether or not anyone else cares about owning these unique (yet arguably easily reproducible) digital files.

First Class Mouth

The Bay Area has its fair share of critics. But ignoring the usual ammo about housing prices, a foul-mouthed Southwest Airlines pilot’s tirade about the region’s propensity for electric cars was captured on hot mic over the Mineta San Jose International Airport’s air traffic control scanner:: “F—king weirdos, probably driving around in f—king Hyundais, f—king roads and s—t that go slow as f—k,” and, “You don’t have balls unless you’re f—king rolling coal, man, goddamn it.” Without any context given from the FAA, maybe it’s a good thing that this pilot heretofore sticks to the skies.

Learning the Alphabet

The Delta variant of the COVID-19 coronavirus—named after the fourth letter in the Greek alphabet—hit the United States in March. The first “variant of interest” to make the global rounds, it wouldn’t be the last in 2021. We’re already up to number 15.

April

Elon Musk: I Am Not Normal

If Elon Musk were truly “the id of tech,” as Kara Swisher claims, he would do anything to satisfy his companies’ appetites and never take no for an answer—in case you’ve misplaced your Freud. On an earnings call in April, he admitted (or bragged) that Tesla “literally raided every electronics store in the Bay Area” because its Fremont plant had run out of USB cables. Following that display, he hosted SNL, where he admitted (bragged) that he has Asperger’s, and offered this non-apology for his occasionally antisocial behavior: “I reinvented electric cars and I’m sending people to Mars on a rocketship. Did you think I was also going to be a chill, normal dude?“

Not So Noble Nobel 

Stanford University computer science professor Jeffrey Ullman was awarded the industry’s equivalent of the Nobel Prize—given to achievements like the World Wide Web and Pixar’s CGI tech—for textbooks he authored. However, celebrations quickly turned sour after 78-year-old Ullman defended past blog posts questioning Iranian students’ loyalties, intentions and abilities amid the decades-long, oil-driven U.S.-Iran crisis, and rationalized land theft from Native Americans as par for the course in human history. More than 1,000 signatures were collected urging the Association for Computing Machinery to reconsider its ethics and diversity standards—especially following the reckoning over racial justice throughout 2020.

May

Housing Chaos, Cupertino Style

At a meeting on May 5, the Cupertino City Council made what looked and smelled like a cynical move to take advantage of state housing-density incentives without actually creating more affordable housing units. “We’re not in a dictatorship,” Mayor Darcy Paul said, citing “locality rights”—don’t bother looking for that term in a legal dictionary. Apparently, the mayor had not seen a letter that arrived the previous day from the California Department of Housing and Community Development specifically kiboshing the ordinance he championed. Three weeks later, City Manager Deb Feng resigned abruptly.

Tit for Tat

Months before any 2022 elections, political mudslinging started off with a bang in May. In an interview with Metro’s Fly column, Santa Clara County Assessor Larry Stone said his opponent “Gary Kremen is sucking the tit of the union.” The 80-year-old’s immediate regret proved accurate; the Silicon Valley Democratic Club censured Stone, calling for his resignation and an apology. At least 75% of members felt the quote was “offensive, sexist, misogynistic and anti-worker.” Stone jabbed back while apologizing, accusing Kremen of “toxic behavior” on the Valley Water District board and “[profiting] from the exploitation of women” by owning the URL sex.com. Who knew the race to assess property taxes could get so steamy?

June

Let It Flea

Vendors at the San Jose Flea Market began a 50-hour hunger strike to protest plans to replace their businesses with $2.5 billion worth of high-density, transit-friendly housing near the new Berryessa BART station. Council unanimously approved the development after the Bumb family doubled its relocation assistance to the 430 vendors to $5 million.

Was it the Pro or the Mini?

Santa Clara County Superior Court Judge Eric Geffon dismissed bribery charges against Apple global security chief and gun permit seeker Thomas Moyer for an alleged offer to give 700 iPads to the Santa Clara County Sheriff’s department. The judge called the case “pure speculation…not supported by the evidence.”

Purse Snatchers

Pandemic-closed shopping centers reopened, but some uninvited guests appeared. In what turned out to be practice runs for the holiday season, thieves stole 36 handbags valued at more than $100,000 from Louis Vuitton at the Stanford Shopping Center. The previous month, a group of ten made off with 43 bags worth $150,000 at the same center’s Neiman Marcus store.

July

A Very Big Electrical Fire

Global climate change, a century of forest mismanagement and a stretch of uninsulated PG&E power lines conspired to create the Dixie Fire—the second-biggest wildfire in California history, which erupted in July and burned nearly a million acres. Only one of those causes could be held liable in a court of law: PG&E now predicts it will lose $1 billion due to lawsuits on this fire alone.

Scan to Read

If having a successful 2021 was a competition, the QR code might just come out on top. The barcode’s pixelated cousin—first introduced in 1994—replaced paper menus at restaurants, karaoke song lists at bars and eventually California’s oversized paper vaccination cards throughout the pandemic. Despite concerns of excluding poor, unhoused and technologically averse folks, the accelerated rollout of this mark across the country means it’s likely here to stay.

Terror to the Highest Bidder

The bizarre dust still hasn’t settled at eBay Inc., two years after (former) high-ranking executives waged an “aggressive cyberstalking campaign” to stifle two journalists running an online ecommerce newsletter—complete with live cockroaches, a bloody pig mask and a book about surviving the death of a spouse. Alongside ex-eBayers’ criminal charges, the victims outside of Boston, Massachusetts, filed a civil lawsuit against the Silicon Valley giant in July, for conspiring to “intimidate, threaten to kill, torture, terrorize, stalk and silence” the couple.

August

DA Disqualified

Santa Clara County District Attorney Jeff Rosen’s entire office was disqualified from prosecuting attorney Christopher Schumb, and all charges were dropped against him. Schumb had been charged with bribery after he took meetings and made a phone call on behalf of a Facebook bodyguard who wanted a gun permit and made an overly generous political contribution to an independent expenditure committee in support of Sheriff Laurie Smith.

Email Me

Mayor Sam Liccardo’s reputation as a champion of transparency took a nosedive when a digital news site started by adversaries caught him using his personal email account to skirt public records disclosure requirements. Earlier in 2021, Liccardo had instructed a constituent—in writing and on a government server—to email his private account and noted that he would be deleting the thread. San Jose Spotlight gleefully reported the disclosure, with an assist by an attorney who’d previously represented labor machine think tank Working Partnerships.

Fly Over Like a Lead Balloon

A years-long debate about the future of Reid-Hillview Airport finally came to a head in August, after an airborne lead study found elevated blood lead levels within 17,000 samples from children under the age of 18 living in residential neighborhoods nearby. Despite ongoing tests and pushback from private aviation enthusiasts, the Santa Clara County Board of Supervisors voted to ground operations as early as January 2022—contingent upon approval from the Federal Aviation Administration.

The Freedom to Infect

San Jose has been able to boast the highest percentage of vaccinated people among the ten biggest cities in the US since nurses started putting shots in arms. In August, a month after the city passed the 85 percent mark, Mayor Sam Liccardo proposed a way to encourage the holdouts by mandating proof-of-vax-status at city-owned venues including the Convention Center, California Theatre and Shark Tank. Proving the need for such a law, angry, unmasked protesters shut down the council meeting where the plan ultimately passed unanimously.

September

Magic the Gathering

Following a nod from the California Attorney General’s office, attention (and investment) in psychedelics such as psilocybin mushrooms picked up steam. The California Psilocybin Initiative was allowed to start gathering signatures for a 2022 ballot measure to either legalize or decriminalize the cultivation and sale of “magic mushrooms.” Since the government has never been known to make decisions speedily, this appeal directly to the Golden State’s voters may be the most promising progress, after several failed attempts at legislation over the years. Who knows if growing medical research and shifting public opinion will be enough to make psychedelics groovy in the eyes of the law.

Take This Job

Long a hotbed of contentment, civility and smooth jazz, Los Gatos became a front of the culture war this month when a handful of folks showed up at a series of city council meetings to voice their concerns about LGBTQ “terrorists,” “communist” Mayor Marico Sayoc, BLM, CRT, etc. During public comments, one angry mom complained that the youth-services organization Sayoc heads as her day job is trying to turn the mom’s “beautiful, beautiful daughter” into a boy. After a commenter got personal about Sayoc’s school-aged son, the mayor’s husband burst into Town Hall hurling F-bombs and demanding that the protesters cease harassing his family at their home. The mayor of Los Gatos receives a $570 monthly stipend for her thankless job.

In the Company of Friends

Downtown councilmember Raul Peralez saw his hopes of becoming San Jose’s mayor grow more distant when his mentor and political ally decided she wanted the job herself. Supervisor Cindy Chavez trotted out two residents of two San Jose suburbs—Monte Sereno and Gilroy—to endorse her bid, but the announcement lost some lustre when energy company lobbyist Carl Guardino’s meeting calendar surfaced and a shootout at a Halloween party at the family home of Gilroy Councilwoman Rebeca Armendariz left three young attendees wounded and one in the morgue. Chavez rebounded by announcing endorsements from 49ers co-owner Jed York and the team’s former safety, Ronnie Lott, neither of whom live in San Jose.

October

Never Meta Man

On Oct. 5, whistleblower Frances Haugen testified before the Senate Commerce Committee that Facebook knowingly hurts children and the rest of us because of its excessive interest in growth and profit. A month earlier, the company had to apologize because its algorithm identified black men as “primates.” On Oct. 28. it was reported that Facebook had decided to quit Facebook in one important way, and changed its name to Meta. That is, as we used to say, soooo meta.

TikTok Paved the Way Out of San Jose

It’s not every day a couple of San Jose high school students find themselves on stages at The Late Show and Lollapalooza. But it’s somewhat fitting that Peach Tree Rascals’ first song—produced in a backyard shed in the shadow of Silicon Valley—went viral (and gold) on social platforms like Spotify and TikTok. Thousands of fans online and at shows have since set Peach Tree Rascals on track to join San Jose’s long list of musical exports—from the Doobie Brothers and Los Tigres del Norte, to Shinobu and Smash Mouth.

November

Small Plate Special

A wave of smash and grab robberies hit San Jose’s Westfield Valley Fair, Oakridge and Eastridge malls. Hammer-wielding, hoodie-wearing thieves helped themselves to cologne, perfume, jewelry and other goodies. In response to the retail robberies, the San Jose City Council voted to spend $250,000 to expand the city’s automatic license plate reader program. The Electronic Frontier Foundation found that 1.6 million plates were scanned and stored in 2020 by SJPD.

Beautiful and Deadly

Highway 280 is touted (unironically) as California’s most beautiful freeway. This is largely due to the work of environmentalists and elected officials who together preserved land in the Santa Cruz Mountains and the foothills that the highway traverses—pretty, and excellent wildlife habitat. For that very reason, 280 is California’s deadliest freeway when it comes to wildlife—roadkill on the highway is estimated to cost the state almost $6 million a year. Enter the Roadkill app, built by Los Gatos resident Michael Schneider, who hopes to activate “citizen scientists” to digitally mark locations of unfortunate critters so their carcasses can be repurposed for food and taxidermy.

Fallon Finally Falling

The statue of Thomas Fallon raising the American flag in San Jose for the first time in 1846 was controversial from the minute it was proposed in 1988. Then-Mayor Tom McEnery, a historian and, like Fallon, a proud Irishman, intended the statue to commemorate the beginning of what he calls San Jose’s “American period.” Others, including local Chicano activists, saw the 16-foot-tall statue of a white man on a stallion as a celebration of American imperialism. While Fallon might not be guilty of crimes as heinous as those committed by other bronzed heroes who have been toppled in recent years, the San Jose City Council unanimously decided to end 33 years of controversy and vote him off the traffic island.

December

Zoom Bomb

Just days after getting a $750 million cash infusion, direct mortgage lender Better.com CEO Vishal Garg fired 900 people during the holiday season in a company-wide Zoom call. “If you’re on this call, you are part of the unlucky group that is being laid off,” CNN Business reported he said, after reviewing a transcript of the call.

Santa Clara Mission Impossible

December was an emotionally rough month for Santa Clara University. While the women’s soccer team managed to host and play in the NCAA’s College Cup, protests about mental health services (or lack thereof) erupted on the other side of campus, after three students died within weeks of each other—without much of a peep from administration as classes held finals.

When Politicians Select Their Voters

In 2008, Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger upended California’s political landscape by spearheading a citizens’ initiative campaign that wrenched the power to draw political boundaries from politicians. The initiative created the California Citizens Redistricting Commission, which in the final days of 2021, released a map of new congressional and state legislative districts. The Santa Clara Board of Supervisors did things the old-fashioned way—redrawing districts that appear to benefit themselves and allied interest groups such as labor unions. Controversies erupted over splitting up the downtown district and separating Los Gatos from the South Valley to ensure that the board’s only historically conservative to moderate seat leans woke in future contests.

Entre Theranos

If you couldn’t get a Wifi signal over the last week, it was because everyone in Silicon Valley was sucking up bandwidth trying to find out if the Elizabeth Holmes jury had come back with a verdict. As the year wound to a close, they still hadn’t, and murmurs about the possibility of a mistrial ensued. Jurors have dropped like flies since the trial began on Sept. 8. One was dismissed for work hardship, another for anxiety and a third for—get this—playing Sudoku. At this point, though, prosecutors may not mind a second shot at Holmes, after what many thought was an open-and-shut case backed by a long trail of texts, doctored reports and secretly recorded investor meetings. Holmes’ lawyers threw out a lot of excuses for her multimillion-dollar fraud—including blaming journalists for not catching her (even though John Carreyrou actually did)—but in the end it may all hinge on whether the jury bought her doe-eyed, failing-memory “Who, me?” shtick.

Look at this past year with 2020 hindsight and things now don’t seem so bad. Lest we forget, last December marked COVID-19’s one-year anniversary—and the virus was going strong. Santa Clara County was stuck in the purple tier and under a stay-at-home order. The Pfizer and Moderna vaccines had been granted emergency use authorization, but most of us hadn’t gotten the shot. Gatherings were small, celebrations muted. We were hunkering down.

Now, it’s been six months since the statewide stay-at-home order was lifted. The vast majority of the population has been vaccinated (91.3% of those over the age of 12). Is the end in sight?

Not quite, thanks to the arrival of the Omicron variant in California. But we’ve been through this before, and we know what to do. Already vaccinated? Get the booster—and a flu vaccine, for good measure. Keep those masks handy indoors, and stock up on sanitizer. And whether you’re at a club, outside in the fresh air, or socializing distantly at home, raise a glass to the future. Because we really are better off today than we were a year ago.

Making a Spectacle

Looking for a celebratory evening with some live entertainment?  Unlike 2020, there are some options available, though it’s prudent to call ahead in case of last-minute cancellations.

Need some laughs to shake the pandemic blues? Comedian Ian Bagg can help with that. The Canadian comic, creator of the podcast Ian Bagg Bought a House, will be at the San Jose Improv this week. Shows are Dec. 31 at 7 and 10:30pm and Jan. 1 at 7 and 9:30pm; tickets are $20-$75. 62 S 2nd St, San Jose; 408.280.7475.

Also getting in on the comedy action is Silicon Valley Sports, with a 10pm show on New Year’s Eve. Ring in the New Year with comedians Chris Beasley, David Dominguez, Cynthia in Public, Connor Lonsdale and Luke Moore. There’s no cover, but bring cash for food and drink. RSVP on Eventbrite. 2105 S 10th St, San Jose; 408.216.0069.

New in the nightlife scene is Immersive: Los Gatos, which took over the space occupied since 1972 by Mountain Charley’s. True to its name, Immersive aims to engage multiple senses, offering striking visuals, music, and dinner shows with acrobats and aerialists. The club has already put on lavish Halloween and “Holidaze” events; New Year’s Eve will bring Cirque performers and celebrity DJ/actor Zak Santiago. Admission is $100 and includes appetizers, an open bar from 8 to 10pm, and a champagne toast at midnight. 15 N Santa Cruz Ave, Los Gatos; 408.410.2630.

For those who are looking for live music, the Houserockers are playing at downtown San Jose’s Plaza de César Chávez. The 10-piece rock and soul band starts up at 9:30pm. 1 Paseo de San Antonio, San Jose; svhouserockers.com.

Up in Sunnyvale, the Quarter Note nightclub brings in the funk with Brand New Cents starting at 9pm. Cover is $10. 1214 Apollo Way, Sunnyvale; 408.732.2110.

Looking for something more soulful? The Stylistics will make fans feel brand new for 2022 at Yoshi’s Jazz Club, with shows Dec. 31 at 8 and 11pm. (Or catch them Dec. 29-30 instead.) Ticket prices vary. 510 Embarcadero West, Jack London Square, Oakland; 510.238.9200.

Dress for Excess

Though costumes aren’t de rigueur for New Year’s Eve, a little fantasy can make the night more fun. If you’re throwing your own party, why not make it a costumed affair? Pick a theme that resonates with your friends and enjoy their creative interpretations. Or if you just want the fun of dressing up without the pain of the after-party cleanup, here are some places to go instead.

The Silicon Valley Capital Club plans a Roaring into 2022 Great Gatsby New Year’s Bash, where guests can dress up as flappers, gangsters and 1920s party animals in this private club 17 stories in the sky. Admission is $200, which gets you heavy appetizers, a dessert bar, live music, dancing, a champagne toast, and 360-degree views of the Valley. Reserve on Eventbrite. 50 W San Fernando St, San Jose; 408.971.9300.

Fitzgerald devotees in South County can party like F. Scott and Zelda closer to home at an “elegant speakeasy-style affair.” Guests are encouraged to do their best with the Roaring Twenties theme, or opt for semi-formal cocktail attire for a night of “nonstop dance music,” albeit not from the flapper era. Tickets to the Great Gatsby New Year’s Eve Party are $45 and include two drink tickets; party favors, hats and noisemakers; and the essential champagne toast and balloon drop. The event takes place from 7 to 2pm. 3425 Lava Rock Court, Morgan Hill; purchase tickets on Eventbrite.

The Good Spot also gets into the dress-up spirit with a Grown N’ Sexy Black and Gold NYE Party. Doors open at 9pm and admission is free until 11pm (plus one free drink for everyone wearing the right color combo). 386 S 1st St, San Jose; get tickets on Eventbrite.

Colors will be brighter at the Glasshouse, where Kilo is hosting Neon NYE. Come dressed in neon or white cocktail/formal attire starting at 9pm. Drinks, appetizers and different music every hour will keep the party going until it’s time for the champagne toast. General admission tickets ($75) are available on Eventbrite. 2 S Market St, San Jose; 408.603.9610.

The organizers of Foresight aren’t dictating any particular costume style, but they are ready to give out prizes for the best-dressed attendees. The event will begin with a cocktail mixer at 7:30pm before DJ Hotwire kicks up the dance music and keeps it going until 1am. Hyatt Centric Mountain View, 409 San Antonio Road, Mountain View; tickets ($37) are available on Eventbrite.

Downtown and Out

What better place to ring out the old than downtown San Jose? With many bars and clubs clustered together, it’s easy to make more than one stop—perhaps dinner first, then a cocktail or two at a quiet lounge, followed by frenetic dancing before the ubiquitous champagne toast. Here are some of the options; pick your favorite club or DJ, and get the party started.

At the Ritz, Basura and DJ Bit take care of the music, with doors opening at 8pm.Tickets are $10 in advance, $15 on the day of show. 400 S 1st St, San Jose; theritzsanjose.com.

SP2 Communal Bar + Restaurant is the place for the 7th Annual Black Tie NYE 2022 event. Hosted by Heavy Arsenal, the event will kick off with a live performance at 8pm featuring Tara and Lonnye, followed by Top 40 and hip-hop courtesy of Double A, Rieta and Bobby Acosta. Tickets are $15-25 on Eventbrite. 72 N Almaden Ave, San Jose; call 415.737.5772 for bottle service.

LVL 44 is bringing in DJ Musubi to keep guests moving. Doors open at 9pm; after the balloon drop and complimentary glass of champagne at midnight, the party continues until 2am. Tickets are $20 on Eventbrite. 44 S Almaden Ave, San Jose; email VIP@LVL44.com for bottle service.

At the Continental Bar, Lounge & Patio, house music purveyors Joey Alaniz and Arturo Garces will “paint the soundscape” to welcome the new year. Lots of lights, a confetti cannon and balloon drop will add to the excitement. Doors open at 6pm and the party continues until 2am. General admission is $45; purchase on Eventbrite (bottle service available). 349 S 1st St, San Jose.

Dancing Around the County

Downtown San Jose is by no means the only neighborhood that knows how to get down, hosting end-of-year celebrations with drinks and dancing. Suburbanites can traverse from Campbell to Sunnyvale to East San Jose to have a host of musical options to choose from.

Get ready to get down to the joyous disco and funk sound of house music, straight from the turntables of Mr. V, Julius Papp and Rated R. Presented at the retro local hot spot Cardiff & Cocktails in Campbell, this evening’s NYE 2022 ticket ($10-15) includes a complimentary champagne toast and party favors. 260 E Campbell Ave, Campbell; 408.374.4474

Right on the edge of Santa Clara, Siamak Jastan and DJ Alireza will spin Persian and international music from center stage at the South Bay Events Hall, located at the corner of Saratoga and Stevens Creek. The $89 ticket is all inclusive, offering appetizers and a full bar whenever folks step off the dance floor. 350 Saratoga Ave., San Jose; 408.300.6011

Whether when you want to shake your booty to house, hip-hop, reggaeton or salsa, the DJs at Fuego Bar and Club have you covered in between libations on the rooftop terrace under the stars. Keep in mind: no baseball caps, white, black or red shirts allowed, and the guest list without a cover closes at 10:30pm. 140 S Murphy Ave., Sunnyvale; (650) 281-5391 or fuegoguestlist.com

Be a part of history as a team of DJs with Turbo Entertainment hosts the first “countdown” NYE event at M Sports Bar off Tully and King. In honor of the occasion, a few lucky raffle winners will leave the night with 100%, 50% and 25% off their bottle-service tabs. Tickets are $10-$30 on Eventbrite. 1654 Burdette Dr, San Jose; 408.643.3087.

Another festive spot is on Santana Row, where Rosie McCann’s Irish Pub is bringing in DJ Nate Rioz to keep the party going, topped off by complimentary champagne at midnight. 355 Santana Row, Suite 1060, San Jose; 408.247.1706 or info@rosiemccanns.com.

Fun & Games

Who says ringing in the new year can’t be all fun and games? Here’s a few options to replace classic plans of drinking, dancing and fine dining with sports, physical exercise and leisure from left field.

Funky Alviso is now home to a branch of Topgolf. In honor of the New Year, clubs can swing from 10am Dec. 31 to 1am Jan. 1. Topgolf transforms the ancient low-tech game into high-tech entertainment, alongside a rooftop fire pit, indoorsy comfort and adult beverages such as a Topgolf Tea (emulating the kind they have in Long Island) and a Maker’s Tipsy Palmer (with Maker’s Mark in it. Topgolf supplies the clubs, and you supply the swing. There are targets on the backstop to aim for, which electronically register points. Once of the latest developments is a tie-in with the Angry Birds franchise; in this game, you club real-life “birdballs” which demolish virtual buildings. The only thing that could make it all more fun would be to honor the recent Rodney Dangerfield centennial (the comic was born Nov. 22, 1921) by cosplaying Caddyshack’s Al Czervik: “My golf game is getting real good. Last week, I got through the windmill.” 10 Topgolf Dr, San Jose; 408.404.6436.

Is there a more Hallmark(™) way to celebrate the wintertime than ice skating under twinkling stars and sparkling holiday lights? Especially stuck in a place without snow, the rink at Gilroy Gardens allows folks to frolic around in California’s unique winter chill. If possible, wearing a full get-up of winter hats, gloves, mittens, coats and boots is a good idea. 3050 Hecker Pass Hwy, Gilroy; gilroygardens.org.

Skating under redwood trees at downtown Sunnyvale’s Winter Ice Rink is still emerging as a new tradition in the South Bay since COVID stifled its fun after an inaugural 2019 season. For any families, couples and parties hoping to “skate and stay,” there may still be one or two special rooms available at the Aloft Sunnyvale and fireside seats at the W XYZ bar to stretch holiday plans into the night. 230 S Murphy Ave, Sunnyvale; citylinesunnyvale.com/icerink.

This is the 25th year of the Kristi Yamaguchi Downtown Ice rink encircled around 32 palm trees. If you don’t want to spend your holiday bobbing, weaving and falling from 10am to 10pm, there’s plenty of dates in January to openly skate and enjoy special events like Ice Queens, the Silent Skate Party and Musical Mondays. 120 S Market St, San Jose; 408.213.8834.

Don the finest black, white or red items in the closet and travel to Monte Carlo—err, the Midnight in Monte Carlo gambling and live music event at San Pedro Square. Before the evening’s balloon drop and champagne toast, try your luck at roulette and cash wheel, or a hand of black jack, three-card poker and Texas hold ’em. Please gamble responsibly; the house always wins. Tickets are $85-100 on Eventbrite. 170 W. St. John St., San Jose.

Within the velvet roped walls of the Bay 101 Casino’s fine dining restaurant The Province, the 9th annual NYE production of Cirque promises an “extraordinary premium experience,” complete with DJs, a live band, LED glow dancers, a street magic show and more than 2,000 balloons to drop at midnight. Tickets are $50-100. Cirque @ Bay 101 Casino, 1788 N 1st St, #10, San Jose; cirquenye.com.

For anyone looking to kick off the new year in a pair of their best running sneakers, Los Altos is hosting the 20th annual Fun Run. The noncompetitive, free 5k “race” is open to run, walk and push a stroller or wheelchair. Masks and social distancing are required at all times. Downtown Los Altos; 650.947.2790.

For the Kiddos (and Kids at Heart)

Whether you’re a parent who has little ones to razzle and dazzle or simply want to avoid any hectic late-night, adult-only celebrations, do not fret. These evening events around the South Bay center on festive fun.

History Park in East San Jose is hosting a “Deck the Halls Epic Holiday Light Show,” projecting an animated production of songs and jokes onto the front of the Pacific Hotel. If a night of holiday crafts, scavenger hunts and lawn games isn’t enough of a treat, O’Brien’s Ice Cream and Candy Shop and a handful of food trucks will provide the goods. Admission is $5-10. 635 Phelan Ave, San Jose; 408.287.2290.

Feeling festive surrounded by holiday lights doesn’t have to include a chilly trek outside. Blinky’s Illuminated Holiday has decorated Lake Cunningham Park with more than 200,000 around for guests to drive through and marvel (admission is $35-75 per car). Blinky is one imaginative reindeer, putting together this musical event perfect for kids to end 2021 with a smile. 2305 S White Rd, San Jose; 408.809.9267.

Great America is putting its name where its mouth is, extending its WinterFest-ivities with a New Year’s celebration with fireworks and live music. Before the clock strikes 12, take the kids on a gentle ride around Charlie Brown’s Christmas Town, or catch some last-minute thrills on the RailBlazer and Gold Striker. Admission is $30+. 4701 Great America Pkwy, Santa Clara; 408. 988.1776.

Comfy and Cozy from Home

Before vaccines became a reality in the Bay Area, NYE plans this time last year meant cuddling up on couches or planning small circles of soirees. But as this pandemic hellscape unfortunately continues to ravage plans with variants, it’s okay to simply enjoy the great indoors. Here are a few activities for those who want to hunker down at home, avoiding the drama, germs or expenses of the outside world in 2021’s final hours.

Feelin’ Crafty

A host of DIY craft kits are available online at SJMADE, a hub for local artist wares since 2011. Want to assemble a 3D giraffe, working wind-up clock, personalized terrarium or cross stitch of Bernie Sanders’ mittens? Pick up online orders or shop in-person for these crafts and more. The store will be closed Dec. 24-27. 60 N San Pedro St, San Jose;
info@sanjosemade.com.

Marvel or Mourn with Martinelli’s 

There’s one must-have when grabbing bottles from the top shelf of your local grocer this New Years—the iconic green-and-white bottle filled with Martinelli Sparkling Cider. Made from as many as 12 different types of apple, this drink is the simple kind of (alcohol-free) self-care we all need. And while this historic four-generation business has roots in Santa Cruz County, San Jose’s own Gordon Biersch lent a hand in Martinelli’s 150th anniversary celebration with a return to boozy beverages in 2018. So pour a glass of your choice and honor a local drink from the comfort of home. Cheers. martinellis.com/where-to-buy.

Cooking for Luck

Swap out fine dining fares for a smorgasbord of delights at the comfort of your own dining room table—all of which have been told to bring good fortune in the New Year. Folks of Scandinavian, German and Polish descent may recall fishy smells emanating from their NYE tables, as pickled herring is seen as a lucky tradition for fertility, long life and bounty. For something savory and hearty, the Southern staple “Hoppin’ John” combines black-eyed peas, rice and pork—a dish historically prepared by enslaved Africans that developed into a good-luck meal. There’s a Spanish tradition of eating 12 grapes—one to pop in your mouth with each passing strike of the clock at midnight. Make sure good luck flows by finishing the snack in time. And for a dessert to finish off the night, try your hand at a Louisiana classic King Cake—the treats sprinkled yellow, green and purple with a surprise (plastic) baby hidden inside. Whoever finds the lil babe is lucky for the day.

Sweet Streams

Thank goodness our televisions and computer screens had access to endless movie titles by the arrival of COVID-19. For a musical escape, Get Back to the years of Beatlemania by watching the newly released 8-hour documentary series on Disney+. For a nostalgic yet relevant story of a teen’s trip to a “grippy sock” mental-health clinic, It’s Kind of a Funny Story hits a cinematic soft spot. But if a specific NYE-theme is in order, queue up Carol, High School Musical or the aptly apocalyptic film Snowpiercer.