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I Saw You: Third Wheel

In Music

I get that you’re into some weird shit, but I never asked to hear about it. So, I don’t understand why you feel compelled to send me unsolicited text messages looping me into your fucked-up sex life. Like, that’s cool that you enjoy a good romp with your friendly neighborhood courtesans, but I find your invitations to join you on said libertine ventures just a tad inappropriate. What have I ever done to make you think I’d appreciate the invite? While I commend you for at least asking if I’d be interested in fulfilling your voyeur fantasy, consider my answer from now on the same in perpetuity: hard pass.

I Saw You is an anonymous “man on the street” column. Email your rants and raves about co-workers or any badly behaving citizens to [email protected], or send to 380 S. First St, San Jose, 95113. Submissions should stick to about 100 words.

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