I understand the need to make a living, but there’s more at stake here than dollars and cents. So, seeing the flashing, neon “OPEN” sign in the window of your beauty salon presented, for me, a moral conundrum. Should I snitch you out? Through the window, I could see you styling a silver-haired client—clearly someone old enough to be disproportionately vulnerable to the dreaded virus. I literally stopped in my tracks to mull over whether to call 3-1-1. Ultimately, I decided against it because of how loathe I was to get anyone tangled up in the criminal justice system over a misdemeanor. Plus, I figured that the flashing light in your window would signal another, perhaps less conflicted, passerby to alert the authorities.
I Saw You is an anonymous “man on the street” column. Email your rants and raves about co-workers or any badly behaving citizens to [email protected], or send to 380 S. First St, San Jose, 95113. Submissions should stick to about 100 words.
I saw you. You were sitting next to me at the wedding—the one we were all concerned about attending, given the novel coronavirus pandemic. Well… most of us were concerned. You were just running your mouth, doing everything in your power to bring our polite conversation back to the topic of guns. Perhaps you fancy yourself a tough guy, determined to keep this country great by any means necessary, including going out of your way to shake the hand of every person you encountered, as if your arrogant disregard of common sense public health practices proved your patriotism. You are truly the worst kind of American.
I Saw You is an anonymous “man on the street” column. Email your rants and raves about co-workers or any badly behaving citizens to [email protected], or send to 380 S. First St, San Jose, 95113. Submissions should stick to about 100 words.
Founded in 1972, the Swiss mask theater group Mummenschanz made a name for themselves by doing a lot with a little. Dressed in black spandex suits, the performers practically disappear on the all-black stage, as the eye is drawn to the wild masks and colorful props the members use to accentuate and express the strangeness of human moods. The New York Times describes the troupe’s current tour, “You and Me,” as something akin to “the Muppets, but heavily influenced by French surrealism and a few psychotropics.” Continue reading »
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Wallace Baine on March 11, 2020
Straight out of the musical hotbed of Austin, Texas, comes Steel Betty, an all-acoustic trio of multi-instrumentalists who reflect the crazy quilt of today’s American roots music. Their music is a tasty stew of country and Western, Tex-Mex conjunto, three-part harmony folk and, most prominently, old-timey mountain bluegrass—these guys can totally rip on “Bile ’Em Cabbage Dow.” For this trio, eclecticism, which they call “New Age Old Time,” is the whole point. They’ve just released a new album, So Darn Lonesome, and now they’re ready to take America by storm. Continue reading »
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Metro Staff on March 11, 2020
Norm Macdonald is a cult hero. Most die-hard fans know the oddball Canadian as the Weekend Update anchor who ruthlessly skewered everyone from Hillary Clinton to O.J. Simpson. Alas, much of Macdonald’s post-Saturday Night Live career saw aborted TV series or roles in toothless Hollywood comedies—ironic considering the dry-as-a-bone Macdonald can draw blood when he wants. A master of the pregnant pause and possessing the power to wring laughs from the minutest observations, see why the club circuit may be the best forum for his talents. He performs two sets per night, March 13–14. Continue reading »
The mysterious, balaclava-sporting Malaa brings his ambiguous identity and hard-hitting ghetto house tunes to Sunnyvale. The producer and DJ has managed to keep his given name under wraps for five years, even as his stature has grown. Some suspect Malaa is the singular name of multiple big-name selectors, including DJ Snake, Tchami and Mercer. One thing is for sure, Malaa’s tunes are heavy. Spinning classic Dirty South textures such as Lil Wayne and Juvenile’s “Bling Bling” together with spartan four-on-the-floor beats that are as infectious as they are dirty, whoever Malaa is, he—or they—know how to rock a dance floor. Continue reading »
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Wallace Baine on March 11, 2020
Dreamers’ Circus is a trio out of Copenhagen, Denmark that fuses classical music and Nordic folk (with jazz influences as well), a formula that has made them one of the most big-ticket acts in their home country. Using the basic ingredients of piano/accordion, violin and cistern (a string instrument similar to a lute), the three young men emerged a decade ago to perform around the world, occasionally in collaboration with symphony orchestras. They’ve also played alongside many of the most luminous names in contemporary Celtic folk. They come to Stanford’s Bing Studio unaccompanied, just the three of them, as a showcase for their hybrid style. Continue reading »
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Avi Salem on March 11, 2020
If you want to preview the shockingly honest, seriously self-deprecating humor that comedian Jenny Zigrino brings to the stage, look no further than her Twitter feed. There, you’ll find her dishing the latest updates about her Tinder flames (or lack thereof), political observations (could Voldemort actually be a viable presidential candidate?) and day-to-day musings about knee sweat, Doritos and her dog. Zigrino’s been doing stand-up since she was 15 and has performed on Conan and appeared on the big screen in Bad Santa 2. Zigrino performs at Rooster’s through Sunday. Continue reading »
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Metro Staff on March 11, 2020
When Christopher Boone discovers his neighbor’s dog dead with a garden fork sticking out of its body, he unwittingly becomes the prime suspect in an act of animal cruelty he did not commit. A mathematically gifted 15-year-old, Boone is at once highly intelligent and unable to interpret everyday life. On his journey to find the killer’s true identity, he comes to an earth-shattering discovery that changes the course of his life forever in the Tony Award-winning play The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time. Runs through April 5. Continue reading »
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Metro Staff on March 11, 2020
Jerrie has had enough of the sexist trolls and gatekeepers who have worked to thwart her success in the gaming industry. Now, she’s leading a talented team to take back her rightful place as a leader in the realm of virtual reality. But as the virtual world once again invades the meatspace, things get more surreal than she could have ever anticipated. Written and directed by Kirsten Brandt, assistant professor of musical theater at SJSU, co-writer of Snow Queen and director of City Lights’ 2017 production Stupid F**king Bird. Runs through April 11. Continue reading »
